


Kansas City, Here They Come

by puff22_2001



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Real World, Drunkenness, Fluff, Gen, Karaoke, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Sort Of, The self-insert aspect is a very small part of the plot and fairly easy to ignore, Tourism, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:02:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25540261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puff22_2001/pseuds/puff22_2001
Summary: The Inner Soldiers take a world tour to heal after Pharaoh Ninety. America's Heartland is a stop on the trip.
Relationships: Chiba Mamoru/Tsukino Usagi, Tsukino Usagi & Inner Senshi
Kudos: 5





	Kansas City, Here They Come

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JetWolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JetWolf/gifts).



> Many years ago, Keyofjetwolf on tumblr posited that the Inner Soldiers would need a grand tour of the world to heal after Pharaoh Ninety. (Haruka and Michiru are on their own sexy tour.) Many, many of Jet's readers sent in fanart and fanfiction of the sailors visiting their own towns. This is my contribution from when I lived in Kansas City, Missouri. The whole thing is self-indulgent pap, but then most fanfiction usually is such.

Minako and Usagi sing “Kansas City” endlessly on the plane. Minako leers every time they get to the line, “they got a crazy way of loving there, and I’m gonna _get_ me some!” Rei is very not amused. Ami tends to a doped Mako while Mamoru tries to look up tourist attractions on his phone. The plane wifi sucks, sadly. The rest of the passengers, mostly business people, alternate between indulgent smiles and annoyed glares. Rei finally glares back; no one even looks at Usagi after that—except for Rei herself, of course.

The girls comes into KCI—“The official designation is MCI.” “I looked online and no one who actually _lives_ in Kansas City calls it that, Ami.”—early in the morning but Mamoru doesn’t book one of the nearby hotels because Minako _insists_ that they stay downtown where all off the “action” is. “There's nothing around the airport except for chain restaurants and hotels, Mamoru! If I want a hamburger from McDonald’s, I’ll go home!” Minako is now pissed as hell at Mamoru for listening to her since a shuttle into the city is nearly thirty minutes (at best).

They stay at the _Marriott_ downtown. It’s a nicer place right near to a lot of stuff like Crown Center, the Federal Reserve, and oh, the POWER AND LIGHT DISTRICT, also known as “more booze than _anyone_ needs.” One night of their stay is dedicated to bar–hopping and Minako tries to drink as many drinks as possible at _The Flying Saucer_ to get her name on a golden plate over the bar. Not to be outdone by _Minako_ of all people, Rei joins the attempt. When Mako points out that you need to drink at least fifty different drinks to earn a plate, the rivals team up, drag the other girls in, and terrorize the staff into giving them a group plate with all of their names on it—as well as a Place of Honor directly over the taps.

Then, drunk off of their asses (and with designated driver Mamoru in tow), the girls go to sing karaoke at _The Indie Bar_. Minako and Rei kill it with a duet of “Feel Like A Woman.” (No one really cares that Rei doesn’t know any of the words.) Usagi and Ami charm everyone with a duet of “Rainbow Connection,” especially as Usagi gives out hugs whenever they get to the line, “the lovers, the dreamers, and meee!” Mako, Minako, and Rei break their fellow female hearts and build them back up stronger with a passionate rendition of “I Will Survive!” Usagi forces Mamoru to sing "Part of Your World” with her (as children’s films’ songs are all that she knows in English). Minako brings tears to every eye with a poignant run at “I Will Always Love You.” Mako gets a similar reaction from “A Song for Mama” by Boys 2 Men, especially at the line, “loving you is like food to my soul.” Rei doesn't get tears but _fire_ from Brittney Spears’ “Stronger.” After a lot of coaxing, Ami thrills with an obscure Christian singer’s "Gift from Heaven” about friendship and found families. Before the night is out, Ami has six hipsters’ numbers (and the hives to match), Mako has kicked some dudebro’s ass for harassing Ami, Minako has kicked said dudebro’s ass for _not_ harassing Minako, Rei is trying to wrestle the mic from the MC and Usagi is singing a mishmash of Disney songs in Mamoru's frustrated arms.

Since they’re visiting near to Thanksgiving, the girls go to both the Crown Center Mayor’s Christmas Tree Lighting AND the Plaza Lighting Ceremony. The Mayor’s Christmas Tree is amazing and Usagi _insists_ that the buy an ornament made from last year’s tree. “The proceeds go to help poor people, Mamo-chan!” She also drags the group to dinner at _Fritz’s_ because, “A TRAIN BRINGS YOUR FOOD, REI!” Usagi also wheedles Rei—so actually Mamoru—into a shake from _The Crayola Cafe_. And a cookie from _Mama’s Bakery_. And about ten pounds of chocolate from _Chip’s Chocolate Factory_. (Mamoru helps with that one.) By the time they get back to the hotel, Usagi samples some type of food from every. last. food. vendor. in Crown Center. She regrets nothing.

Otherwise, Ami and Mako go nuts at the nature store. Minako drags them all to Victoria’s Secret _just_ to mortify Mamoru. Mamoru begs to go to the cat store. Rei wants to buy “an authentic Kansas City souvenir, ” and so she buys some kitschy, overpriced piece of junk from the gift store—made in China and stamped with the Kansas City skyline. They spend a few hours each at the aquarium and Legoland, though Usagi and Minako get antsy long before anyone else at the aquarium. Each girl makes themselves as a minifig and they all beam to see a display of the sailors in Legos. (Minako is pissed that her Lego doppelganger's uniform is yellow, though.)

They spend a full two hours at the toy store with Minako and Usagi touching everything and squealing. Each girl quickly gathers fans: Usagi does voices for the action figures and stuffed animals, Ami reads quietly in the corner to the shy children, Rei and Minako have Nerf battles with little (but earnest) armies, Mako makes block houses and tall towers to the delight of her little band, and Mamoru liberally dispenses candy to the parents to give to their children. The employees are annoyed at first but eventually fall into the holiday spirit (and soldier magic) and join the fun. The store makes more money on Thanksgiving Night than any other day that year— more than even Black Friday proper.

The Plaza Lights especially remind the girls of the Silver Millennium and Mamoru has to hold a weeping Usagi as the children’s choirs sing on the bandstand when they fire up the lights. Minako makes her laugh again with her off–color commentary about the hosts, dressed as the sailors themselves. “Damn, we bumped Mickey and Minnie from hosting? These Americans have taste!”

They stroll the Plaza a little bit afterwards (singing carols and “Christmas in Kansas City” to the extreme delight of the locals), and Mako takes pictures of every fountain that they cross. “Kansas City has the most fountains _in the world_ except for Rome!” Mako makes Ami stand in front of all of them for the pictures. Minako climbs up to ride the horse in the fountain at J.C. Nichols Park until the cops arrive. Despite getting freezing wet and almost arrested, it’s worth it to hear Rei yelling at her on the bus ride back to the hotel.

Incidentally, the get slightly lost on the way home. “Come on, Rei! I know English like the back of my arm. The Max bus goes right by our hotel, remember? We took it to Crown Center yesterday.” The get on the Plaza Only Max bus—going the opposite way.

Did Minako really mess up? Did the look on Rei’s face when they end up at the complete opposite side of the Plaza (where they started and with fifty thousand people between them and the bus stop again) cause the little error? Either way, Because Minako. Usagi insists on going into all of the shops again—in case they put out any _new_ holiday stuff since an hour ago—and Minako sleeps on the floor that night. They all have their own beds; Rei just barricades Minako’s bed with luggage.

The last few days of their trip are dedicated to museums and local landmarks. The spend a few hours at the Kansas City Zoo, though it’s not as much fun in the winter when everything is hibernating. One of the polar bears does wave at Usagi, so that makes the trip worthwhile.

Ami takes them all to the World War I Museum where Usagi cowers basically the whole time. “YOU ARE A MAGICAL WARRIOR WITH FOUR MAGICAL WARRIOR BODYGUARDS, YOU MORON. NO ONE WILL SHOOT YOU.” Rei leads them on to The Federal Reserve. Minako finds eight flaws in The Reserve’s security before the tour is over. Mako just wants to check out some of the local gardens, and they end up helping a local youth group working in a not–for–profit’s community garden. Mako alone tills all of the beds for winter planting. Minako takes to them to the _National Miniature and Toy Museum_ and almost gets them thrown out for trying to play with everything.

Usagi wants to go to Union Station and actually seems interested in Science City. Everyone else is a little embarrassed to be at an attraction for children, but Ami and Mamoru are just glad that Usagi is interested in something educational. Minako yells dirty things in Japanese inside the giant body parts. Rei challenges some snotty little boy to a race on the sky bike. She wins, of course. She’s then followed around in awe by said child. Mamoru and Mako help the littlest kids play (with permission from their parents, of course). Then, since, “it’s right across the street, Ami!” They have to go _back_ to Crown Center for dinner at _The Crayola Cafe_. And more shopping.

Their last night in Kansas City is subdued. The girls go to _The Peanut_ On Ninth and have a few drinks. They meet a shy young woman, just a bit older then they are, and make friends. She’s had a hard year, but things are looking up. She’s heard about those sailor soldiers in Japan and she's taken them as her inspiration, along with her mom and other supporters. She has a job now after many months of unemployment, slinging tacos.

The woman looks a little sad at that, and Rei bristles. “Why are you ashamed? It’s honest work! You want to be a singer, right? You have to have money for that!” Minako cuts in. “Yeah, and you said that you love your job! That’s hella coolio!” Ami ignores Minako’s slang to add gently, “You told us you want to continue volunteering, so you can always help that way. And making people’s day better with food really is important.” Ami’s grateful smile at Mako goes unnoticed as Mako adds her thoughts enthusiastically. “You can make it! I want to see you on stage someday. You can tour with Rei and Minako!” “Nothing is impossible with love and support, especially between family and friends.” Mamoru says with a bright smile at Usagi next to him on her stool.

“I believe in you! You’ll make it! I know it!” Usagi says, so purely faithful that the woman know—truly _knows_ — that she’ll reach her dream. It’s then the woman’s friend arrives. A few short introductions, and the girls leave—never dreaming what they’ve left behind in one glowing heart crystal and one shining dream mirror.

They head to Case Park to look out over the American Royale, Kemper Arena, and the famous Kansas City stockyards. They’ve spent days soaking up Kansas City jazz, eating Kansas City barbecue, and watching the Kansas City Chiefs and The Kansas City Royals on television while eating delivery from Bo Ling’s and Jimmy John’s and multiple local joints. The girls have met countless new friends on the bus, in the crowds, and everywhere that they go.

The girls head on to their next destination, sad to see Kansas City fly by. They can see the Plaza Lights from the plane and Usagi sniffles into Mamoru and Rei’s arms. Ami holds Mako’s hand as she slips into a blissfully drugged sleep. Minako starts singing “Kansas City” and, this time, everyone joins in as they hurtle on through the sky.


End file.
